Stuck In The Middle 134 This is Liberating Once You Decide

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THE CRUCIAL YET PAINFUL DECISION TO MAKE
WHEN YOU ARE STUCK

I am going to share a story with you that will be especially important if you are feeling stuck taking care of your parents and children and everything else in life like a relationship and a career.

My parents had me very late in life. They were married over 25 years and were in their late 40’s. I am an only child,so as they aged I became their caregiver financially, emotionaly and physically.

While I strive here to provide you with tips each and every week, I thought it was time to share some deep details since you might be going thru something similar.


Our natural human nature for 99% of the population is to make the people you love happy. Couple that with no one likes to be verbally abused or made to feel guilty or bad.

So now you have some context for the advice I am about to share with you….

AT SOME POINT YOU WILL NEED TO MAKE SURE YOUR PARENTS ARE SAFE …… NOT HAPPY!!!

Here are 2 examples
First was my dad who smoked and carried around oxygen cannisters as spares for his oxygen pack.
Not little ones but BIG ONES like you would see balloons being blown up with.

He loved to go shopping early in the morning around 5:30 to 6 am and it was often dark. He was not a great driver and became a hazard to anyone else on the road at that time of day and of course to himself.

I made the decision to take away his car. Naturally he was not happy and cursed and screamed. After all I had now taken away his independce.

BUT I FELT MY JOB WAS TO KEEP HIM SAFE …. NOT HAPPY!

Example 2 was my mom
After my dad died my mom continued to live in the home. It was a 4 bdr 3 bath 2500 square foot house.

I checked on her daily. Did her food and personal shopping since she did not drive and took care of all other home issues including paying bills and taking out the trash.

My wife and I decided to take a 2 day trip and when I came home I immediately called to see how she was doing.

NO ANSWER — after trying for a few hours.

So I rushed over to see what was happening and found her on the floor. Before we left we bought the HELP I HAVE FALLEN necklace for her and got it all set up .

She had been on the floor for over 36 hours but refused to push the button she was wearing around her neck because she was embarassed to have an ambulance come.

Not rational right?

She was taken to the hospital and almost died. After 3 weeks in the hospital she was transferred to a rehab facility and while she was there I sold the house.
( I had done a power of attonery and life estate years before just in case)

SHE WAS NOT HAPPY - In fact she cursed me out in 2 different languages …

BUT ONCE AGAIN-
I FELT RESPONSIBLE FOR HER SAFETY NOT HER HAPPINESS!!!

Once you are able to feel the same way it is very liberating.

My parents are now both gone but I know that I did what was right since they were clearly not making good decisions.

TRY IT— It’s very difficult when the child becomes the parent but you have to take life as it comes and know in your heart you are doing what has to be done!

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